Destructive relationship patterns can sneak into even the best bonds, messing things up before you know it. These types of destructive patterns can drain the joy right out of a relationship. So, let’s break them down, and try to find out how to break out of it. Key Points What do lions, tigers, bears, andContinue reading “The 3 Most Destructive Relationship Patterns and How to Break Them”
Tag Archives: marriage counseling
All Therapy Is Exposure Therapy
Instead of spiders, we expose ourselves to our emotions, reducing avoidance. Key points Let’s say you plop on my couch. “So, what brings you in?” I ask. You start with a sigh, and at first speak in short, vague statements. “I’ve been feeling down,” you say. Or “I’m having problems in my relationship.” “Tell meContinue reading “All Therapy Is Exposure Therapy”
How to apologize the right way to fix a relationship
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Tension and conflict may arise between partners from time to time, but it’s important to be able to resolve issues and take responsibility for your actions. It is also crucial to apologize correctly in order to improve the relationship and not aggravate the situation. How to apologizeContinue reading “How to apologize the right way to fix a relationship”
The ABCs of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
Rooted in attachment theory, EFT focuses on softer, primary emotions. Key points Emotionally focused couples therapy is a relationship intervention that has its roots in attachment theory. According to attachment theory, our interactions with caregivers (and, most notably, our primary caregiver) shape the way that we interact with others throughout our lives. Children are born with needs for objects necessaryContinue reading “The ABCs of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy”
Why You Hold Things In, and How to Stop
How to self-validate and express your feelings in healthier ways. Key points What would you do if you were irritated that your partner forgot about an important commitment, yet again? Maybe you’d tell yourself, “It’s not a big deal, don’t bring it up.” But when it happens for the third time, you explode, and yourContinue reading “Why You Hold Things In, and How to Stop”
Why Does Couples Therapy Work?
The 3 mechanisms of change, according to research. Key points Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, Relational Life Therapy, Intimacy From the Inside Out Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Couples Therapy, Imago Relationship Therapy, Psychodynamic Couples Therapy… The list goes on and on. It can be challenging to choose a method of couples therapy whenContinue reading “Why Does Couples Therapy Work?”
Keeping Your In-Laws Out of Your Relationship
How to validate your partner without bashing your parent. Key points One of the most common problems I see as a couples therapist is trouble with the in-laws. In fact, 75% of couples report having problems with an in-law. It can be hard enough to deal with your own parents, let alone your partner’s parents, who mayContinue reading “Keeping Your In-Laws Out of Your Relationship”
Healthline: What to Do If Your Partner Won’t Consider Couples Therapy
Here you can see a portion of Simone Marie’s Healthline article addressing how to handle discrepancies in desire to go to couples therapy, in which I am mentioned. Read the full article by clicking the link at the bottom of the page. Much like preventive care, couples therapy can do a lot of good For example, oneContinue reading “Healthline: What to Do If Your Partner Won’t Consider Couples Therapy”
The Buzz Podcast: The Buzz Around Relationships
Give this podcast a listen to hear about common issues facing relationships today and how Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps. Listen on the Buzz Podcast
The Truth About Female Sexual Desire Everyone Should Know
Here’s how to tap into female desire with science. Originally published on my Psychology Today Blog, Mindful Relationships That look—I know that look well. The furrowed brow, the sense of holding back tears, a slight downward tilt of the head: that look on a female client’s face when she tells me, “Never. I never reallyContinue reading “The Truth About Female Sexual Desire Everyone Should Know”