Stuck in conflict or feeling distant? Here’s how you can break free. Key points What do lions, tigers, bears, and a sink full of dishes have in common? Fight, flight, or freeze: our stress system’s responses to threat. When being chased by a lion, we will either run (flight), take our shot at defending ourselves (fight), or,Continue reading “The 3 Most Common Relationship Patterns and How to Break Them”
Tag Archives: therapist
The 3 Most Destructive Relationship Patterns and How to Break Them
Destructive relationship patterns can sneak into even the best bonds, messing things up before you know it. These types of destructive patterns can drain the joy right out of a relationship. So, let’s break them down, and try to find out how to break out of it. Key Points What do lions, tigers, bears, andContinue reading “The 3 Most Destructive Relationship Patterns and How to Break Them”
All Therapy Is Exposure Therapy
Instead of spiders, we expose ourselves to our emotions, reducing avoidance. Key points Let’s say you plop on my couch. “So, what brings you in?” I ask. You start with a sigh, and at first speak in short, vague statements. “I’ve been feeling down,” you say. Or “I’m having problems in my relationship.” “Tell meContinue reading “All Therapy Is Exposure Therapy”
How to apologize the right way to fix a relationship
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Tension and conflict may arise between partners from time to time, but it’s important to be able to resolve issues and take responsibility for your actions. It is also crucial to apologize correctly in order to improve the relationship and not aggravate the situation. How to apologizeContinue reading “How to apologize the right way to fix a relationship”
The ABCs of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
Rooted in attachment theory, EFT focuses on softer, primary emotions. Key points Emotionally focused couples therapy is a relationship intervention that has its roots in attachment theory. According to attachment theory, our interactions with caregivers (and, most notably, our primary caregiver) shape the way that we interact with others throughout our lives. Children are born with needs for objects necessaryContinue reading “The ABCs of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy”
Rebuilding Couples’ Communication With Emotionally Focused Therapy
Behavior can be changed authentically in couples’ therapy by accessing underlying emotions. Key points This post is part 2 of a series. The emotion-focused couples therapist guides clients to first fully connect with and understand their emotions, and then create new responses and interaction patterns (Johnson, 2007). Emotionally focused therapists use emotion tracking, reflecting, and heighteningContinue reading “Rebuilding Couples’ Communication With Emotionally Focused Therapy”
What to Do When a Partner Feels Like a Roommate
The pattern of mutual withdrawal and how couples can break it. Key points You and your partner hardly ever fight, but something is missing in your relationship—a sense of being lovers, of passion, of emotional intimacy, of closeness. The pain of missing out on a deep love that feels just out of reach is heartbreaking. AndContinue reading “What to Do When a Partner Feels Like a Roommate”
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
Emotionally focused therapy can be understood from a bioecological perspective. Key points Bronfenbrenner’s bioecological theory emphasizes the influence of bidirectional interactions between the person, their context, and time, as well as the proximal processes of interaction between these different variables and the developing individual. Proximal processes are seen as the “engines of development,” the mostContinue reading “Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy”
Keeping Your In-Laws Out of Your Relationship
How to validate your partner without bashing your parent. Key points One of the most common problems I see as a couples therapist is trouble with the in-laws. In fact, 75% of couples report having problems with an in-law. It can be hard enough to deal with your own parents, let alone your partner’s parents, who mayContinue reading “Keeping Your In-Laws Out of Your Relationship”
Healthline: What to Do If Your Partner Won’t Consider Couples Therapy
Here you can see a portion of Simone Marie’s Healthline article addressing how to handle discrepancies in desire to go to couples therapy, in which I am mentioned. Read the full article by clicking the link at the bottom of the page. Much like preventive care, couples therapy can do a lot of good For example, oneContinue reading “Healthline: What to Do If Your Partner Won’t Consider Couples Therapy”